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Writers! Retreat! #3 July 30, 2009

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in My Life as I See It, Uncategorized.
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taos mountains by amara ann bertorelli

Here’s my third entry for the writer’s retreat that I am attending. There is always a point in any retreat (at least for me, and I have reason to believe for many others) when the shit hits the fan, so to speak. That is when everyone around me is getting on my last nerve and I am forced to confront the reality that it’s my stuff not theirs. Well, boys and girls, that’s just where I am at this point.

We hit the halfway mark of the retreat yesterday. The good news is that my friend Rachel and I decided to break off from the group for a few hours and go white water rafting. That was an excellent idea (Rachel’s, not mine) and it was very therapeutic. There’s nothing like being a little scared, a lot exhilarated, and totally surrounded by nature to clear out what ails you.

One of the main issues that many of us in the group are working on is that of “internal sovereignty,” as Havi Brooks so wonderfully puts it. Briefly put, we are the queens (I do enjoy being a queen) of our own internal landscape. Because of that we give no one but ourselves the permission to determine our assessments of our own worth and validity. This goes for praise as well as for criticism. This is a compelling project for me—and seems to be for others as well.

Dance of Shiva (led by Havi) also remains an interesting if frustrating activity. As I mentioned in an earlier post, it seeks to have us leave behind the patterns of our life that are not serving us, using physical movement. I recommend it for anyone who wants their creativity to break out. That said, I do believe it brings forth some of that other gunk that was residing unexamined below the surface of things. Sort of like the pus in a sore—yuk! Suffice it to say that I am not all sweetness and light at the moment…However, I do hold as a possibility that this could change by the end of the retreat on Saturday.

Onward and upward (I hope)




1. Kelly - August 3, 2009

Amara – finally figured out how to see your updates on my phone.

So excited about your raft trip. I love love love that you did it.

What a way to clear your head and enjoy your trip out west.

2. Jane - July 31, 2009

I laughed, I smiled in recognition and I’m cheering you on as I read each of your entries. And white water rafting is exactly the metaphor for life…some calm, some rapids but always moving, whether we want it to or not. Love the FB pictures and am so glad you can make this trip for another summer. Hugs, Jane

edgyangel - July 31, 2009

Thanks, BFF!

3. edgyangel - July 31, 2009

How brilliant–you are totally right…the shift is indeed hitting the fan. 🙂

4. anyuta33 - July 30, 2009

Amara, I have to tell you that as I read the first few lines of this blog entry, I misread something: I thought you said when the SHIFT hits the fan…And I think that that is exactly what you meant! Sounds to me like things are shifting for you, and maybe not in ways that you had thought about before hand. How exciting! -Anne

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