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Writers! Retreat! #4 July 31, 2009

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in Uncategorized.
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Milagros by amara ann bertorelli

God is good; life is good. Something finally broke today. It’s day 6 of the 7-day retreat and all I can say is that it’s about damn time.

I thought that I was coming to the Writer’s Retreat to write…but no. I was coming to the Writer’s Retreat to retreat and deal with a lot of the stuff that gets pushed aside while I’m organizing and galloping through my life. And I blame it all on Dance of Shiva. Dance of Shiva is a beautiful spiritual practice that is not what it appears on the outside. On the surface it looks like a beautiful, peaceful dance practice– and it is that. It’s also a gentle (sort of) but firm master of Change—notice the capital C. (Find out more about it on http://www.fluentself.com/get-stuff/)

Today we were going through another session (they don’t last long but each one feels like 10 years) in which I was totally getting it wrong and having no idea whatsoever what was coming next. (Yes, I know that’s a really long sentence but what the heck. I’m having a growth spurt.) And in the midst of that, it hit me. If I can surrender to getting it totally wrong and not really knowing or caring what’s next during the dance, then I can probably do that in my life as well. Down with perfectionism! Down with uber-planning! Up with whatever!

This week has been a challenging journey—not just for me but for others in the retreat group. I didn’t experience the strong self-doubt and self-criticism last time as I have this week. But I guess it’s one of those issues I just had to wrestle to the ground (and it’s not our first encounter). Well, the critter’s down for the count at the moment and we’re sizing each other up to see what’s next…Guess that’s a good thing.

–Amara

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Comments»

1. Patsi Krakoff aka The Blog Squad - August 16, 2009

Hi, Amara. Oh you mention old friends of mine, self-doubt and criticism, we go way back. I didn’t take them with me to the Writer’s Spa, but they sure did come back home with me. Popped up all week long for me. But your reminder means that I can be on the alert for this new week that’s starting, and not open the door when they come knocking. Thanks for sharing about this. And thanks for being your lovely self.

edgyangel - August 16, 2009

Patsi–there is some comfort in knowing that the most amazing women suffer the same pangs that I do. Guess that’s why we’re here in Earth School…let’s just keep on keepin’ on!


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