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On Being Confident January 19, 2010

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in Personal Observations.
Tags: , , , ,

I have to admit it, I am totally in love with my granddaughter. Having had a son, and two grandsons, I have never before had the chance to feel that some of my marvelous genes have taken hold in a female child. What I love about Marli is that she is a very self-contained person, even at age 5. She has her own thoughts and opinions and dispenses them in a matter-of-fact generous way. And Marli is confident.

Last week my son took the three kids to the local pond to learn how to ice skate. And being a good son, he invited me to come along and watch. Marli and her younger brother Thomas had the double-bladed skates that most kids start out with, while their older brother was whizzing around on regular skates.

Marli did pretty well for her first time out. She took direction from her dad about how to glide on the skates though she didn’t glide all that much, more like walking around on the ice. And she fell a bunch of times—lightly and without getting frustrated that she was falling down. In short, Marli approached the whole experience with a beginner’s mind.

All around her were kids who were experienced skaters. They flew past her at seemingly breakneck speed, chasing a hockey puck or simply seeing how fast they could travel. Marli remained focused and serene. As I was getting ready to leave she skated up to me and said, “Grammie, I can skate as just as good as those big kids.” As I looked down into her smiling face, I choked back a little flood of emotion and said, “Marli, you’re right…you are a great skater.”

What was touching about Marli’s assessment of herself is that she demonstrated such pure confidence and self-esteem. And my wish for Marli is that she may never think that she is anything but wonderful.

This got me thinking about confidence. What if you could believe only good things about yourself? How would your life be different? What if the air of confidence you project to the outside world was present in your inner world as well? How about coming up with your own assessment about how ‘good’ you are based on what you’ve decided rather than looking to the outside world for that validation?

I think the first step in being able to do this is to get very clear about what you bring to the world– what your contribution is to the planet. It doesn’t have to be a big-deal thing. We are not all destined to be Mother Teresa or Albert Einstein—and even those two suffered crises of confidence in their lives. But maybe you are the best scrambled egg maker you know, or the best at calming animals who are nervous or scared, or a great organizer of desk tops.  My point here is that you get to say that you’re worthy (or even wonderful) and you don’t need the world’s permission for that.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

I like that.

So what makes you wonderful?




1. Haidee - February 7, 2010

I love your story and quote from Eleonor Roosevelt. thank you for your thoughts. With you as Marli’s Grammie, she can only remain exactly the way she is! I’m grateful I started my day today reading your blog!

edgyangel - February 7, 2010

Thank you, Haidee. I hope your day is a great one.

2. Yvette - February 5, 2010

Beautiful message–and a beautiful granddaughter who will grow into a strong and confident woman–just like and with the help of her Grammie.

edgyangel - February 6, 2010

Just like your beautiful girls…wonder where they got it….

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