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Why Would You Say That? December 5, 2010

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in Angel Writings, Personal Observations.
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by HK.Colin creative commons lic A few weeks ago I was having coffee with my friend Kanta who, like me, is a life coach. We were having a lively discussion about something or other and, in the course of our conversation, I said, “_____ is killing me.” She paused for a moment and said, “Is that really what you want to say about _______?” Her point, was that our language creates our reality. And even though we may think we are speaking metaphorically,we need to be conscious of what we are “languaging” lest it become a reality that we don’t much care for.

How about making up a new story for yourself?

I think and talk a lot about the power of our language to create but this week as I was contemplating my weight (yeah, really) I realized that this topic might prove useful to others as well. I was reflecting that in 2010 I have successfully gotten rid of 30 extra pounds that I didn’t need. (See the post Hcg and Me and More About HCG). You notice I didn’t say lost—as we can often find what we have lost or misplaced. As I reflected on that I realized that I have changed my whole way of relating to the topic of weight—a very dicey topic for many of us. I used to say to myself (and others), “It’s not really hard to lose weight, it’s just hard to keep it off.” I realized this week that I no longer have that story about weight loss (and re-gain). Somewhere I have lost that particular story and have adopted a new one. My new story is that maintaining weight loss is just a matter of paying attention and applying a little discipline. There that sounds—and feels– a whole lot better, doesn’t it?

Language creates!

Ontological coaching, a variety of coaching technique in which I was trained, has a great interest in language and how it creates our reality. It can do so in both positive ways and not-so-positive ways. Every great creation whether it’s a unique piece of art, an architectural marvel, a technological innovation, or a new recipe for jalapeno jelly was first created in someone’s thoughts and conversations before it manifested into physical form.

We an also create yukky stuff too. But I’m not going to get into that. (See my post about the economy, Just Say Yes)

Visual Evidence

Doreen Virtue, PhD and Grant Virtue have written a book called Angel Words: Visual Evidence of How Words Can Be Angels in Your Life. Doreen and her son Grant often record her podcasts. Grant began to notice that when Doreen said the word ‘angel’ the visual representation of that word’s vibration on his computer was large. In her words:

When I said “angel” the graph looked like a celestial being soaring from the heaven…”

The pair went on to notice that the words that are widely considered positive and feel-good were significantly “larger” than those considered negative. They found this to be consistently the case. Her conclusion from this:

Here was tangible evidence of high and low vibrations within speech. The positive words exhibited a much bigger impact, like light shining radiantly. Meanwhile, the negative ones looked tight and constricted.

Watch your language

So now I circle back to my original point—be mindful of the language you use. Rather than saying “ My brain is fried,” try saying, “ I need to rest for a few moments.”  Instead of saying “The world is a difficult place,” go with “Life is interesting and full of surprises.”

And you could try deputizing someone else to help you notice and modify your language choices. Like Kanta did for me.

Oh Happy Day…





1. Jane S - December 8, 2010

As a member of Garrison Keillor’s P.O.E.M. I couldn’t agree more with your sentiments. The words we use are so meaningful….and make meaning in our lives. it takes care and attention to use them wisely. A delight to read this one.

edgyangel - December 8, 2010

thanks BFF!

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