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Be That May 15, 2011

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in ontological coaching.
Tags: , ,

I’m recovering from a weekend of tango frenzy and what better way than to come back to earth with a blog post.

I was watching a movie last week –or I should say a segment of a movie. I seldom sit down and watch an entire movie at a time. In the movie, Robin Williams play a psychologist turned convenience store owner. Williams asks the main character if he’s a smoker and the guy replies, “I’m trying to quit.” The psychologist responds with, “You need to figure out if you’re a smoker or a non-smoker. Find out which one you are and be that.”


Since I am involved in the study and practice of ontological coaching, that comment is right up my alley. Ontology is the study of being and who you’re being in any given time is something that should be a conscious decision rather than a default position that may or may not further your intentions in life.

So, find out who you are and be that. Great concept. I have a conscious declaration about who I want to be in the world. Do I always manage it? Well, no. But the fact that I have that declaration gives me a road map when it comes to making decisions about how to live my life.

I have a practice before I go to sleep each night (unless I’ve been dancing tango till the wee hours—in that case I just collapse into bed). In this practice I call to mind at least five things about the day that I am grateful for. After that I mentally review the day and see if all of my actions have been in alignment with who I say I am. If yes, then I feel satisfied. If no, I decide to do a better job tomorrow.

What’s the payoff for being conscious?

Why be conscious of who you want to be in the world? By my observation of both myself and others, being in integrity with your values, desires, and mission makes for a more satisfying and value-producing life.

A case in point

Dylan is a young man of 16 whom I have known since he was 9. He probably won’t win scholarships for his academic achievements but Dylan is a world class human being. His declaration about himself is quite obviously to be a loving human being in all circumstances of his life. When you come into Dylan’s presence he greets you with an enormous hug and some sincere appreciation. Dylan fairly emanates love for others and receives it in return. He knows who he is and he is that all the time.

What’s this mean to you?

So who do you say you are? A writer? Then write. A reader? Then read. A tango dancer? Then dance. A liberal, an archconservative, physically fit, overweight, a musician, an emotionally balanced person, a neurotic. Figure out what (or who) you are. Embrace it, get really cozy with it and be that…





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