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Ode to a Watermelon July 24, 2011

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in Personal Observations.
Tags: , , ,

Yellow watermelon by AA Bertorelli







Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me…My birthday was last Monday and I have been celebrating with various friends for the entire week. Here is a story that I shared with my friend and he convinced me that I should post it today. Fine, I wrote back, , but what’s the lesson? I need to make a point. We went back and forth. He suggested it might have had to do with ‘already listening.’ I thought maybe assessments would be appropriate or perhaps how to love yourself even with you are being a ditz.

Finally I settled on his first suggestion. Just share it because it’s hysterical. So I offer you this story as a bit of comic relief from the rigors of 100+ degree heat (if that applies where you are). And at the very least you can have a small chuckle. Here’s the story…

The Story

Yesterday in the continuing pageant that is my birthday week, my friend Mary took me to lunch. We had a lovely time and on the way home we decided to stop at one of the many produce stands along the way. We went in and one of the choices that we made was a large seedless watermelon with yellow fruit–a detail that may seem immaterial but which will add to the visual in a moment.

The produce store was located at the top of a gentle but rather long hill. I came out of the store into 100 degree heat which I can only think must have instantly fried my brain. I needed to open the back hatch of my car to place the vegetables into the car, however, my hands were full. For some reason only known to the angels above, I decided to place the watermelon on the ground behind the car while I opened the hatch. (You’re getting this, right?) I put the bags in and leaned down to grab the very round and somewhat heavy watermelon.

OMG, it was gone. I looked around only to find it rolling lazily down the aforementioned gentle but very long hill. And the damn thing had gotten a head start on me–and it was still 100+ degrees. I jogged after it but could not prevent its escape onto the very busy road beside the store. I watched as it rolled steadfastly into the right hand lane just at the exact moment that a car was coming by. And positioned itself just exactly under the front wheels of that car at the precise moment that would result in its demise. Splat! The watermelon was history and there were yellow watermelon guts spread all over the road. The people in the car turned their heads in unison to glare at me.

What are the odds?

Yes, I was the one who was consumed with the giggles at the whole ridiculous situation. Now if I had wanted to roll a damn watermelon down a hill and have a car hit it and split it wide open, what are the chances that I would have succeeded?

Went in and bought another one and it’s amazingly good–maybe the first one was poison or something. And Mary and I laughed all the way home.





1. Larry T - July 24, 2011

I truly wish I could have witnessed that. Ever since you relayed the story I’ve been visualizing the entire event. Hysterical, side splitting laughter comes to mind. Like you said, maybe it was poison and deserved to be run over by a car, after rolling down a long hill.

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