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Lessons I Have Learned (That You May Profit From) December 4, 2011

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in Self-Development.
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DSC_0010-1 This post has been rolling

around in my head for a few weeks now. The last couple of months have been a time of great personal growth opportunities. (Read it has been a real pain in the ass and fraught with difficulties.) As I have mulled over my own reactions to the stuff that has been coming at me of late, I have tried to watch myself going through it so at least I can say I have gotten some good learnings out of the muck. I ‘m including a (short) list of various and sundry lessons I have learned  in the hopes that you will glean some value from it without having to learn it the hard way. (It’s a long shot, I know, but read on anyway.)

#1  There is very little to be gained from playing in someone else’s hula hoop.

The hula hoop metaphor comes to me courtesy of the lovely Havi Brooks who has an amazing way with words. It refers to those times when you find yourself living someone else’s life instead of your own, better known as putting your nose into someone else’s business. Yes, I know it’s very tempting to try to help others when you see them in distress but that’s not what this is about. Case in point, when my awesome son is having a tough time in life, I seem to have a tough time  in life. It’s made even worse by the understanding that I have very little power to change his life for him. I can offer my fabulous words of wisdom gained from 60+ years of  enrollment in Earth School. But even though I am paid ‘the big bucks’ by others for my coaching, he fails to be impressed. So the lesson? Offer what I can and let the rest go. Is it easy? Heck no, (make that hell,no). But I have found that life gets easier and more joyful for me when I do — which is a good thing. You know the old saying: “If mamma ain’t happy then nobody’s happy.” Book it.

So what have you been doing lately that takes you into the spin of someone else’s hoop? Byron Katie, another of my favorite teachers, says that when you place yourself in someone else’s business (without an express invitation or maybe even with one) you are minding their business and/or God’s business. We’ve all enrolled in Earth School to fulfill a contract our soul has made. So sometimes we just have to be left to learn the lesson, fun or not. ‘Nuff said.

#2 That which you deny/condemn is somehow attracted to you.

It’s the darndest thing, isn’t it? When we criticize someone for doing something, next thing you know we’re doing the same thing. Or when we repeatedly beat the drum about an issue/problem we often manifest that thing into our lives. Example—I often fret about bad weather when I am traveling. I worry about it, I get cranky when it presents itself and otherwise put a whole lot of energy into the ‘bad weather’ story. And much of the time when I travel, the weather is an issue…hmmm, wonder where that comes from. On the other (more positive) hand, I always expect to have easy travel. And I am quite shocked when a SNAFU comes up for me. That’s because I put my thoughts/energy into  experiencing easy effortless travel experiences. That part, I like.

This lesson has been magnificently demonstrated in the public arena by well known TV ministers who end up being found out doing things which they have publicly and repeatedly condemned as sinful. I’m not picking on television evangelists just using them as a marvelous demonstration of this phenomenon.

So the advice is to be very careful about your negative thoughts. Yes, of course we all have negative assessments—we’re human. But if you can let the negative stuff waft in and out like puffs of smoke, you’ll find the quality of your life experience will improve. Promise…. (ask me how I know)

#3 Posts that I’ve thought about for a while are invariably longer than they should be.

My word target is 500 and I am now over 700. Time to blow this popsicle stand. Rest assured, there will be a part 2 or 3 in the future. In the meantime, keep a cool head, a warm heart, and find joy in the moment ‘cause it’s always there if you look hard enough…

–Amara

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