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How to Keep Your Job From Driving You Crazy November 2, 2014

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in executive coach, Self-Development, workplace success, workplace success coaching.
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We all haspeak my mindve them. The times when our job is getting on our last nerve. Or we are being kept awake at night re-hashing some workplace drama in our mind. Hardly any of us escape those times, even if we basically love our jobs.

So is there a way that we can keep ourselves safe from these teeth-on-edge times? Well, yes, there is. Mostly when we find ourselves up at night, or in mental disarray, it always goes back to one thing—a relationship or more than one that is just not working.

Tough Times at Work Often Relate to Relationship Breakdowns

When I think back to some of the times in my career that had me tied in knots, they are all related to a relationship breakdown in some way. Some examples: I had a co-manager (who ever thought of such an arrangement was nuts—but that’s for another day.) This co-manager did not get the concept of ‘co’ and figured he was really in charge of the whole department. Thus, I had to constantly fight for my place.

Then in another job I was a brand spanking new manager whose staff thought I did not know a thing about managing people. The truth was that I had been a manager in another company so I was not totally clueless. However, they did not know this, whaving not been at that other company.

Which Work Relationships Could Benefit From Some TLC?

So what are your job crazy-makers? Betcha a bunch of money that they can all be traced back to a relationship or two that’s not in good order or that could benefit from a little TLC.

How do you do that? Understanding that the quality of the relationship (or lack of) is the first step. Then having the intention to do what it takes to make the relationship workable is what you need to do next. And the of course, you’ll need to take some action.

This is What I Did

So in the case of the co-manager from hell, I had to go into the lion’s den and stand up for myself. In the absence of my setting my own boundaries my colleague was perfectly happy to run rough-shod over me. However, once I set my guidelines and expectations, things became a lot better. Which brings me to another point. You don’t have to like another person in your workplace to make the relationship work better. It’s really nice if you do and a lucky circumstance, but it’s really not necessary. Improving a relationship at work—even with someone you don’t particularly like (and let’s face it, you’re not going to like everyone you work with, nor they you) can make your workplace a lot less crazy-making. Heck, it might even make it a place you enjoy spending time in…what a concept!

As for my staff who didn’t respect my potential as their manager, I chipped away at each person—spending time with them, listening to their concerns and roadblocks, and supporting them where I could. By the time I left that job three years later, there was a high level of trust and respect among all of us.

Don’t Forget About the Good Ones

So if you’re in one of your crazy-making periods, think about what relationships need  bolstering. And think about the good ones you have in place. When things go wrong, it’s always good to have someone to share that with who has your back. There’s nothing better than that.

Here’s a Book On the Subject

And in the spirit of shameless self-promotion, (or maybe not shameless), I should mention that I have co-authored a book on this very topic.  If you think that you might benefit from some reading on the topic, try this link: Relationships That Work, Work That Matters

Do your best to fix those crazy-making relationships. You spend too manymnay hours of your life at work to be unhappy there. Really…

If you’d like workplace success coaching, visit my web site and schedule a coaching information session to get started. No More Drama At Work.com

 

 

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Is Your Job Killing Your Soul? January 20, 2014

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in workplace success.
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Are you feeling depleted every time you think of going to work? Do you dread Monday mornings? Find yourself having a hard time getting up in the morning? Your job is probably the culprit. From relationships that make you feel beaten, to too much work in too little time, sometimes it can feel like you’re selling your soul for a paycheck.

As a veteran of Corporate America myself and a longtime executive coach, I’ve had the opportunity to see first-hand how difficult jobs can be. And if you’re in that situation it can seem like an uphill battle to find any enjoyment in the 8-10 hours a day you spend at your job.

Interested in some suggestions that might help you get out from under?

OK—here goes.

1. Surround yourself with people whom you enjoy and work well with.

Yes, I know that sometimes this is easier said than done. There are always the difficult relationships to contend with. However, make a conscious effort whenever possible to work and socialize with people who are compatible with your view on life. Even if it’s just that one particular buddy that you have, that’s often enough to give you some comic relief and something to look forward to while you’re at work.

2. Cultivate doing work that you like.

While you can’t always do only the parts of your job that like, you can certainly become good at them, perhaps known for that particular skill. Then you’re more likely to get requests/opportunities to do that work as time goes on.

3. If you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work that you have, take breaks every two hours or so.

This might seem counterintuitive , however, when you’re in the state of overwhelm it’s easy to get ‘foggy brain,’ a state of muddled thinking, because you’ve got so much coming at you. Taking more frequent breaks gives you a chance to refresh your mental state and can actually lead to getting more done.

4. Make sure you have an interesting/enjoyable life outside of work.

Cultivate some interests or hobbies. Plan to take your kids on a special outing. Have a date with your spouse during the week. Go away for a weekend trip. Or go to the gym after work. Almost anything that you can do to have some enjoyment outside of work will do. Just be sure that you do it.

5. If your attitude about your job is really beyond repair, start looking around for  other options.

If it’s your job or boss, not the company, look at other departments to see if you might find a happier home in one of them. If you’re just out of sync with the culture of the company you work for—and this is not an unusual occurrence—time to start looking outside the company for a new position. It’s best to start this exploration sooner rather than later, in case you need to acquire some new training or schooling. Give some serious thought to your ideal job and work environment. Write it down and then make yourself a deadline for getting another job. If you really want to get wild and crazy, make a vision board. (A collage that you create with words and pictures that show what you want in your future life—lots of fun.)

It doesn’t have to be tomorrow—it may be a year or two down the road. But at least you’ll have a plan that will sustain you when the going gets tough.

You spend about 2080 hours a year at your job. It’s up to you to do what you can to make sure your soul is singing—or at least humming—during those hours.

What To Do When You Hate Your Job January 7, 2014

Posted by Ann Bertorelli in career development.
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hate-your-job.gif.pagespeed.ce.2rhR1mmd6vAs I was considering the topic of this post, I decided to do a little research on how many people are unhappy in their jobs. And boy, was I in for a shock. The statistics say that 70% of Americans are unhappy with their jobs. (If you’re reading from another country, that statistic is probably lower. It’s a well-established fact that Americans (U.S.) have to work longer hours and get less vacation than employees in other countries.)

So a lot of people in the U. S. hate their jobs—or at the very least don’t love them. If you think about that, it’s pretty sad, since we spend about 2000 hours (or more) every year working at said jobs.

If you’re one of those people, then you know that every day at a job you don’t like can feel like a Monday, every night before feels like a Sunday night. Not only are you not enjoying the job, you’re losing valuable hours of your life dreading it when you’re not even there.

Is there a way to cope with not having the job of your dreams? Having had jobs in various stages of my life that I did not love, I say the answer is ‘yes.’ It is possible to cope with a job that doesn’t ring your bells. What follows are some suggestions about how to do that.

Cultivate a life outside of work.

Yes, that’s right. Get a life—and live it. If you currently have a hobby or interest that you absolutely love, make sure you are allotting time in your life to pursue that interest. It’s easy to become a drudge, taking work home because you think you ‘should.’ Screw the should’s . Of course do your best at your job but set boundaries on its intrusion into your personal time.

Personal time should be—well, personal. So,for example, if you like to ski, make sure you plan a trip or a weekend or even an afternoon at the slopes. It you love to read novels, then have a good one going at all times—and maybe even join a book club so that you can be inspired by others. If you have children, spend time with them as they are growing up rather than holing yourself up with work files while you’re at home in the evening. Get the drift? There is a life outside of work, honest!

Find ways to enjoy your job while you’re there.

Is that possible?  Of course it is. Cultivate the best possible relationships that you can with your co-workers and your boss. The things that most often make people hate their jobs usually relate to relationship break-downs. These break-downs make you tense or paranoid at work, sap your energy, and keep you up at night. So the more you can do to intentionally build good relationships at work, the happier you will be.

A number of years ago I was part of a small, rather dysfunctional work team. My colleagues and I did not like each other very much and no matter what we tried we couldn’t seem to become a cohesive team. This made me very unhappy since a lot of the angst was directed my way. However, when I look back on that time I remember it as being one of the most satisfying work times of my life. Why? Because rather than continuing to muck around with relationships that sapped my energy, I intentionally cultivated broader relationships in the company. This resulted in my getting some interesting and rewarding assignments. Yes, I was still unhappy with my team but I was able to focus on the productive relationships I had outside the team and the very cool work I got to do as a result. Life got a lot better –and ultimately the team was disbanded.

Do something about it!

If you really hate your job, you can change it. It may not be an easy thing to do but you get to decide if you’re up for it. And just deciding can be an empowering thing. It could sound something like, “Yeah, I hate this job but it’s paying the bills and I’m willing to find fulfillment in other areas of my life.” To make a conscious decision to stay in a job that doesn’t ring your bells makes you the author of your life rather than the victim who’s living it.

And if you really can’t bear to stay in the job, then start making some moves to change it.

Here are some questions to explore

What would my ideal job be? Do I currently have the skills to do that job? If not, am I interested in doing what it takes to obtain the skills? Is it time to start putting out some feelers for another position?

Would I like to start my own business? What would that entail? How could I get myself in a position to leave this job? How much would I need to have in the bank? Is my spouse on board?

What is my passion? Could I make a paying job out of following that passion? There are plenty of people in the world who have.

If you are well and truly miserable and know you just can’t live out your life in your present job, the most self-caring thing you can do is to figure out how to move on. Give yourself time to do this. Make a plan about what you’re going to explore, who you’re going to talk to, and then start working the plan. Having a dream and a future to plan can make a not-so-happy present more bearable.

Whatever you do—do something!